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Yesterday, 50 days after I broke my arm, my doctor gave me the okay to start running again. As usual, I walked home from the appointment, taking the long way home via the waterfront trail. I hadn’t walked more than half a mile when I was seized with the desire to run right then and there. It didn’t matter that I was wearing jeans, an old tired pair of shoes, and a warm jacket!
I must have looked silly out there shuffling along dressed like that, like someone trying to run for the very first time. I didn’t care. The first few steps were great! Then my legs suddenly felt like they weighed 500 pounds apiece. Never mind that I have walked, on average, more than 8 miles every day since my injury. I learned yesterday that running and walking use different muscles, and that my running muscles are now seriously out of shape.
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That’s how I’m trying to live my life, and that’s how I’m going to do things with this blog. I have been blogging semi-publicly for over a year now, but that blog was focused on keeping friends and family informed of my late husband’s fight against stage 4 lung cancer. It’s now been two and a half months since I lost him… and I have discovered that besides (obviously) missing Kurt, I also miss blogging.
I am going to try something new with this blog, make it a bit more visible to the world, and see what may develop.
I’m a learning and development professional, an amateur philosopher, a mid-life PhD, who took up running in 2009 when somebody advised me to find a short-term goal to avoid the post-dissertation blues. I’m never going to be competitive (unless maybe I’m still running at the age of 100, which I sort of doubt), but I have indeed found happiness through running… so I’ve now proudly taken to calling myself the “slow happy runner.” I’ve completed three half marathons since February 2010, and I’m currently registered for three more within the next six months.
When I needed to give myself some respite from caregiving, I ran. When nothing else would stop the anguish of pre-grief screaming in my head, running stopped those thoughts. When I needed to cry, I welcomed opportunities to run in the rain. As I try to recreate my life as a “young widow,” I’m thinking about taking running vacations… going to places I’ve never been and running while I’m there.
I expect to write a lot about running in this blog, but that is only a part of multi-faceted me. So you might get a little grieving, a little philosophy, a little environmentalism, and who knows what else may capture my interest.
I hope you find things that are interesting to you here as well. Your comments will always be welcome… I only ask that you play nicely.