Time out

I haven’t written here for several days. I haven’t done much running either. I tend to get demotivated about a lot of things when it gets cold and dark. I start worrying about having to to go out and get around on icy roads. I’m a bit of a cold-weather wimp I guess, but in the past when I had Kurt I could send him out to fetch things, or at least let him worry about doing the driving when we went somewhere together. Now if I want or need to go out, I have to summon the will to take myself out. So I’ve been burrowing for a bit, and thinking, and trying to figure things out.

I didn’t run the 5K I’d registered for yesterday, as it was snowing on and off at my house and I didn’t think it would be all that much more pleasant down along the waterfront. This afternoon I got back on my treadmill, but decided I’d had enough after only 3.5 miles. It seems that what I want to do right now is rest, relax, and let go of things — stress, bad memories — as much as possible. It’s the season to lie fallow, perhaps.

While it may be several more days before I write again, it’s not that there is nothing going on in my life. It’s just that what is going on is going on within me and needs some time to do whatever work it’s going to do.

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Posted on November 20, 2011, in LIfe_goes_on and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Your journey is your journey…no standards to adhere to, no finish line in the distance…just one foot in front of the other, with a few cat naps in between. Take it as you can. Hugs, Geri

  2. I’ve been noticing it is truly deep fall here. Hopefully I’ll get organized to figure out how to send you a picture of fall foliage I took with my new !! 🙂 camera. The semester is both in its worst grading time and winding down. Fall, to me, offers a different kind of introspection than winter. Maybe like squirrels burying acorns that help sprout new oaks: necessary, unintended, but part of the larger picture anyway. Not sure how to apply that analogy, but you get my intention.

    Thinking of you as the long holiday weekend rolls around. For us, it’s the first Thanksgiving in literally decades that we haven’t gone to So Cal.

  3. It seems to me that I am burrowing a little deeper with the change in seasons and fewer daylight hours. And I can almost hear snickers –I live in the Los Angeles area. Talk about being a wimp! But change is change. I respond to your honesty with a big thumb’s up! Nature does give us a nice pattern we can respond to or ignore. Your time of quiet and rest seems wise as you listen to what you need. I hope your holiday week is not too stressful. Debra

  4. I’m going through some version of the same thing. In The Bahamas. Silly, I know. *sighs*
    It’s okay to have down time though. Take your time. 🙂

  5. I think that would be called a plateau. Fret not, Lori. You’ll get your groove back in no time. 🙂

  6. To all who have commented on this post,

    It’s reassuring to hear that, despite society’s attempts to disconnect us from nature and create a “you can have artichokes and oranges all year round” global consumer consciousness, we all still feel and respond to the changing seasons in the places where we live. I think that as humans, we need to experience this connection and response or we risk losing ourselves.

    Thanks as always for your sensitive and supportive comments. I feel loved.

    Lori

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