I haven’t written here for several days. I haven’t done much running either. I tend to get demotivated about a lot of things when it gets cold and dark. I start worrying about having to to go out and get around on icy roads. I’m a bit of a cold-weather wimp I guess, but in the past when I had Kurt I could send him out to fetch things, or at least let him worry about doing the driving when we went somewhere together. Now if I want or need to go out, I have to summon the will to take myself out. So I’ve been burrowing for a bit, and thinking, and trying to figure things out.
I didn’t run the 5K I’d registered for yesterday, as it was snowing on and off at my house and I didn’t think it would be all that much more pleasant down along the waterfront. This afternoon I got back on my treadmill, but decided I’d had enough after only 3.5 miles. It seems that what I want to do right now is rest, relax, and let go of things — stress, bad memories — as much as possible. It’s the season to lie fallow, perhaps.
While it may be several more days before I write again, it’s not that there is nothing going on in my life. It’s just that what is going on is going on within me and needs some time to do whatever work it’s going to do.